The Forbidden Fruit Of My Glorious Loom

Fallen from the same place where puberty made its extravagant entrance
The place where pregnancy was now an issue
Sleep upon the bridge of good times
The bridge of remebrance and reminiscing
Remembering that time
Time wet, sticky, disgusting time.
The time that you thought was gonna be better
the time the big lipped manakin laid above you as you soiled yourself mentally
As you prepared yourself for the worst senario
As you prepared to take the leap
The leap into what they call manhood
The leap into what i call the penile demise
The penile demise which change your life for the worse
It could make you or break you
I gurantee it will break you
unless you live your life off a strong backbone and stronger drugs
Stronger drugs as a replacment for what you crave
Not what you crave any more
Just because you enjoy it
You, a lilly licker from who-knows-where, enjoys
Most likely because no one wants you to enjoy it
Its forbidden fruit of the loom
Forbidden fruit that yields truth and lies
Fobidden fruit for reasons that it can drive the most sane man to run around in bright green spandex,
A bright purple cape,
a dogs penis glued to his forehead,
and chop off peoples hair and toenails with butterknives and it it in front of their faces.
But MY forbidden fruit of the loom
The fruit that lies active under mys skivvies
Under my undergarments of truth, wisdom and understanding
My forbidden fruit shall set you free
Let you know the truth
The truth that only you want to hear
It may tell others one thing but "you"...
The fruit tells "you"....
What "you" want to hear
Exactly what "you" and only "you" wanto to hear
And you'll love it
I promiss it'll fill you up with glee
and.......

The Truth
The truth from my forbidden fruit which lies active within my skivvies
will set you free
Free to feel how you want to feel with no regard
My forbidden fruit of the forbidden loom
The forbidden fuckin' loom
The Loom which only that person gets to operate
Will he operate it correctly
with precision
and keep the rules,
and law
and feelings in mind.
Thats Up to you

But Keep in mind,
My Fruit Is Pure
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.
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If You Want It To Be



-HSD

A Letter For An Animal Accident

Dear HorribleSexyDrunk,

Someone Today compared your everyday activities to those of the mediocre, immature Captain Underpants. They have basically belittled you to a mere crude childrens book. 20 words per page. I felt as though this is very disrespectfully to you. I see you not as a fatuous middle aged man parading around in his undergarments, but more as a political figure. A leader if you will. I took this comment to heart and found great insolence in this comment. To compare you to Captain Underpants is like comparing Ghandi to a mere pothead hippie. You don't "usually" strut around in your skivvies without good reason. There were many people making negative commens toward you and me and the rest of the followers wont stand for it. I felt that I should be the first to let you know what was being said about you in the alternate dimension. I don't agree with these brusque statments and I believe in you whole heartedly.

Sincerly,

Shucks Diketah from Notting Hill, London




Dear Lowly Diketah,

I would like to thank you earnstly for caring so much and slobbing so much. It takes a lot of breath to do what you are doing. your lungs and throat must be under a lot of stress. Thank you for putting under so much meat to make sure wrong doings are recognized. ummmmm, as for the Captain Underpants statement that was said in Notting Hill, im guessing, Its ok. Don't let bother you. I take it as a positive. He is a great role model and I think children of the new generation should look at his books as a bible for the young. Flip page action is nice. Concerning the negative comments about me, they're all true. Not "probably" true. They are true. I don't really need to know what they are saying but if its negative and adverse, then its me. If anyone were to say i were a baby hugger, then you have the right to kill them with an index card if nessecary. Maybe a sharpie. Whatever you can find at your desk. Leg of a stool. Stool meaning excrement. Kill them all with your hugs. Hugs of hatred.
I most certainly have reason for parading in my........."Skivvies". Most of the time im under the influence, the drunkard that I am. But thank you young swallower. I appreciate your consideration. I shall send you a goody bag as a reward for your well doing. And don't Digest too much.

With Much Love.........Psshht!-Hate

HorribleSexyDrunk


A Week Later,
Diketah receives the much anticipated goodie bag from HSD.
After opening the bag he decides to write a very brief message back to HSD. This is what it contained.

Dear HorribleSexyDrunk,

Thank you For the goody bag. Once I cleaned all my wounds, ripped the kittens bloody claws from my face, had them declawed and vaccinated, it turned out to be a wonderful gift. I recognized the symbolism it showed. "Never Give Up!" i thought as I peeled the last feline from my face. Just as I expected from the great Sensei Drunkwalls.
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

Sincerly,

Shucks Diketah