HorribleSexyDrunk and Ken Sato

This is the HorribleSexyDrunk speaking to you live from the basement of my drug dealer's house. He is passed out in his bathroom so I decided to rummage through his cabinet of well orginized drugs. His supply gets bigger and bigger everytime i come here. Im gonna end up going wild with his supply and wake up dead tomorrow morning. I bet you wish that made sense. Anyway, I happened to run into my pansy younger cousin, Ken Sato. He is the epitome of disgrace. A perfect example of everything I strive not to be. He's a romantic lovesick woman chaser. He drowns himself in sorrow over females and gets into deep relationships while putting his not-blackened-enough heart on the line. He's a romantic. I hate him. I met up with him when I was pouring blazing hot coffee on a toddlers head in starbucks. He saw me. As he realized who i was, he ran over and yelled, "Uncle Drunk!!!" in that mid-teen emo-pop voice that annoys me so. I looked up, threw the rest of the broiling coffee on a College student. My eyes raised to the sky as i thought, "someone please set me ablaze and let me hug him. He jogs over to me even though im only three feet away from him. He has the utmost annoying grin splattered across his face.
HSD: "Bring me your face."
Ken: "huh?"
HSD "bring me your FACE!!!"
He drags his face closer to mine. I word to him "I shall slap you"
I cock my hand as far behind my head as I can. The force of the release is so forceful. The impact of my hand sent a shock through everybody in Starbucks body. His body defied physics and gravity. He went flying through the large exorbitant window. He pops back up from the ground as if nothing had just happened or it happens very often and he's used to it. He brushes the pieces of glass off his and climbs through the shattered window. After he regains composure, we sit down with cups of coffee prepare by frightened employees that have been threatened by yours truley. He has a saddened look on his face. He begins to tell me a story of the what happened and why he has that look.
It shall be revealed in the romantic, action story of Ken Sato.
(Uhhh, Romance. *vomit*blech*