We stopped at a diner on the side of the road once i woke up from my coma. Couldn't really muster up the energy to speak, let alone get up, with my fatigued body.
While Ruey and Nuggy were dragging me across the glass-shard laced road, i peacefully slipped back into unconcsiousness. (If you consider kicking and cursing peaceful.)
I awake in a groggy manner sitting in what looks like a bathroom stall. I look around and see graffiti, yellow puddles and feces spray against the stall walls. How the hell-- why the hell would someone shoot the dook against the walls. It looks like they shot from a double barrell shot gun. But ive actually seen worse. Possibly done worse just in spite of humanity.
Then i see something that worries me.
Theres a hole carved through the wall with tape around it.
Above it said
Too tired.... didn't even feel to get up and avoid all possibility of male genitals bursting through the walls, excited, and blocking the only exit. I here voices. Lucky for me that they're female voices.
The door swings open and i shift on the toilet seat. I cover my face to block block the light and the ever so possible rampage of trans-dicks.
After i realize the no penises were after my fae, i lower my hands to see tho was there.
Twas a female indeed.
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if she had never seen a grown man ,who looks and feels like isht, sitting on a stall toilet in a fetal position.
She had an an indian completion, Long black hair with purple streaks. Pierced eyebrows and nose. Skinny brows. She wore grey jeans and a t-shirt that had an cartoon rabbit on the front giving the middle finger with a smile on its face.
I shook my head a little, as much as i could with such little energy, when i realized i was staring. Then she said, "You look like isht...... were you gang reaped?"
She smiled at me. Not a regular that strangers give me that make me want to kick their crotch, then momentarily after, step on a kindergarteners lunch bag. But instead a smile that actuall let blood rush to my brain. The only thing thats been up there has been booze for the past 11 years.
I smiled back even though my face felt like it had really been gang raped by a thousand rhinos.
I tried to get up but i stumbled back onto the toilet seat. She came and helped me up. I heaved up my soul into the toilet and then she helped my to the sink to wash my face. I looked around the tagged bathroom and noticed there were no urinals.
"Am I in the girls bathroom?"
"Yeah you are. Do you even know how you got here?"
I wasn't really sure but i had a couple ideas.
Booze
Drugs
My terrible friends
Evil kittens seeking revenge.
"Not quite sure."
Actually, it could be a combonation of all four.
She continued to help me regain composure and mental stability, since i would randomly start babbling about nothing. I'd literally just start yelling random words.
We walked out of the bathroom and sat at the counter of the diner. My bastards(friends) are no where to be found. Me and the profane rabbit girl begin talking over a cup of coffee. She looks at her coffee like something was missing. Then she looks around behind the counter and gestures to the lady working the register.
"Your microwave is eating your son again."
She turns around franticly.
"Not Again! HERB!"
SHe runs to the kitchen. The when she's out of site, Rabbit Girl reaches over the counter and grabs a couple bottles of booze and hug them to her chest. She gets up, grabs her coffee and heads towards the door. She stops and looks back at me.
"Well, come on now."
I look at her, then the kitchen. I jump over the counter and say "eh, WHAT THE HELL!" I like her style. She's like a female me. I look behing the counter for something to stuff my pockets with. I leap back over the counter with twelve packs of cigerettes. Its a good day. We walk outside. She pops opena bottle of booze and starts pouring it in the cup of coffee. Her tongue sticks out the side of her mouth as she tries to put in the percise amount.
"So, you haven't told me your name yet, you rude bastard."
Her eyes were still fixated on pouring her mixture.
"Well i didn't even think about i was obligated to do so since i thought i was f***in dead!!!"
"Well unless you WANT to be a rude dogf***in butthole... well i have manners and class."
She takes a deep swig of her toxin. Contradict.
"Im angel. Et toi?"
" People call me HorribleSexyDrunk."
"And, wow, thats a fitting name."
I pull out a carton and take a cig out. She takes one out my carton uninvited. I look at her and she shrugs her shoulders. We light up and start to talk. Laughter and profanity fuels our conversation.
"I flippin* hate it here, Drunk. There is absolutely nothing to do around here."
We sit down on the parking bumpers.
"People here are so damn boring. I miss the city so much. I'd give anything to go back."
"hmmm"
A thought shot through my head."Would you even go to Wisconsin?"
She looks at me like she realizes my plan for her.
My bastard crew pull up in the van and comes to a screeching halt. Nuggy and Ruey sticks half their bodies out the front seats, shirtless.
I turn to Angel, "You're coming with us."
"CONTINUE THE ROADTRIP!!:"
A brick pounds nuggy's face and he falls out the window. I proceed to pound his face with my fists, feet, kneecaps and forehead.
"Why the hell did you bastards leave me here!!! What the hell was wrong with me?!?! What did you do!? I swear I'll kill you all!!!"
While Im attack the van, Angel walks back out with a suitcase. She tosses it in the back of the van and the taps my shoulder.
"Lets go to wisconsin. Then the big CITY!"
She then throws the rest of her isht in the back of the van and takes the seat that is quite obviouslty mine. We look at each other and she pats the seat. I drop Nuggy ever so gently(sarcasm) "THUD!", and climb back into my seat next to her like a puppy to its owner.
I look at Angel and snaps back to my horrible sexy senses and push her violently out my seat. I sit there comfortably but with a frown on my face because we're so close to reaching WisEffinConsin...............
Posts
