Im A Beautiful Teacher

I despise children. I want them all enslaved. I want them to devour my sweat oatnut bread and be forced to work with senile old men with tourettes.
Im Lying.
I had to sub for a high school biology class today. When i first set foot in the classroom, the students were all in there correct seats and seemed very well behaved. I figured that I might not have to use the torture devices that I brought along. No children are well behaved. Not in the center of this hellish city. I close the door and scan the pimpled faces across the room. I smell the evil in the little behemoths. The white board calls for my signature. My name is now plastered for the class to see.
"Good morning, horible little cretins. My name is Mr. Deathmonger and i'll be your substitute for today." Accompanying my hair-raising name was an all black pen stripe suit and i blood stained red tie.I dyed the tipes of my black dreads a crimson red. Bwahaha! This black suit case with biohazard signs and skulls on it really help. Sporting Piercings all over my face was probaly what made is hard for the retched students to look at my face. All the worried murmers that filled the room became quiet when I slammed on the teachers desk. I push the lever and the top pops up. I hide my head in and rustle around. While going through my jungle of torture devices and mutated bunnies, I took a peek at the students.
They're Horrified.
Twas so heart warming to see their faces so difgruntled. I made a quick prayer for my children to wake up that afraid every morning beecause of me.
I think they were afraid of what i might pull out of my suitcase.
They Should Be.

"Today we shall be dissecting live genetically enhanced armadillos."